Each evening, before dinner, Patrick and I sit together and
pray. We pray over our meal, we pray over people, we pray over stresses, and
for months we prayed for another pregnancy. Soon after having Kylie, we knew we
wanted to have another baby as soon as God would bless us with another
pregnancy and as soon as our wonderful medical team would advise. We knew that
another baby wouldn’t replace Kylie, but our hearts so desired for another baby
to warm our home and our lives.
I wasn’t initially certain if we’d share out the news of
another pregnancy so broadly, but after Kylie passed away I sought so much
comfort from reading others’ stories of hope. And our story certainly is one of
hope and of a good and faithful God.
After Kylie’s birth, we were advised to wait a few months to
try to become pregnant with another child. We did wait those few months and
then another 8 (LONG) months before we found out we were pregnant with our
sweet Beckett. God certainly used that time to work on my patience, endurance,
and heart. God has opened my heart and given me such a sense of compassion towards those who wait months and years for a pregnancy. God showed me the constant
frustration, worry, monthly anticipation, crushed hopes, and tears of those who
walk through the journey of difficult conception. You see, we immediately
became pregnant with Kylie. The first month without birth control, we were pregnant.
Life was good and easy, and that is a wonderful story. I love when women share
their stories of easy conception! They are heartwarming and lovely. But, what
we don’t hear so often are the stories of women and couples who spend months
and years trying to conceive. Before our time of waiting, I had no
understanding of the emotional toil and time dedicated to thinking about
conceiving a baby. I am so grateful for the perception God has given me along
this journey.
For months, Patrick and I tried to conceive another child.
After these months with MANY failed pregnancy tests and of huge frustration
over cycle-tracking, I called my OB’s office. I was sobbing when I called,
after an incredibly short cycle followed an insanely long one. I was so
confused. An appointment was set for a month later… I remember thinking, “Great,
now I have to wait another month.” But, another month we waited. Patrick
and I sat with my OB at an appointment in December where she determined that I
was likely not ovulating at all. We found out via a blood test later that month
that indeed she was right. Patrick and I began monthly treatments of Letrozole
(a minor fertility drug) to stimulate my body to ovulate. Oh, how relieved we
were to be doing something to work towards another pregnancy.
On March 17, 2016, we learned we were expecting our second
child. That morning will forever be imprinted in my mind. Each month, I tried
to ensure myself that I would be okay with another failed pregnancy test. I
continued to pray that God would allow me peace and comfort in trusting in His
plan completely, knowing His timing is good. It is always good. But, let’s be
real here, each month filled with more negative pregnancy tests crushed me.
Patrick had left early on the morning of March 17th to work out. My
alarm went off, and I stumbled into the bathroom, knowing I could take the
pregnancy test that morning. I took it and laid it on the counter. I turned the
shower on and began making our bed. My heart was pounding in my chest, like
always. I took a peek after a couple of minutes, and there on the counter, the
second pink line was beginning to show up… faint, but it was showing up. Tears…
tears immediately began streaming down my face. I dropped to my knees in the bedroom,
praising our God with all my might, thanking Him for His grace, compassion, and
blessings on our life. Patrick and I happened to ride the bus together that
morning, where I showed him the picture of the positive test. His face was
priceless. So much joy shone in his smile that morning.
We are now just over 29 weeks along in our pregnancy with our son, Beckett Mason Byer. We’ve been monitored very closely throughout this entire
pregnancy. I am so thankful for our medical team. Not only are they incredibly
thorough and wonderful at their jobs, they cater to our emotional needs as
well. They call Kylie by name. We speak of her at most appointments. They have
no idea what this means to us. They have no obligation to treat her life with
such respect. At 14 weeks, we met our perinatologist (maternal-fetal
medicine specialist). She is wonderful. She had read all about Kylie, her
birth, and our case. I had been tested for the three most common types of
blood-clotting disorders after Kylie’s birth and had tested negative to all
three. Our perinatologist desired to test me for the three inherited types of
blood clotting disorders. Sure enough, I tested positive for one of them. From
that point on, I have been on blood thinners. I give myself a shot in the
stomach once a day. We are grateful for our perinatologist’s thoroughness.
At 14 weeks we found out that our 2nd sweet baby
is a boy. We are incredibly thrilled! When we first became pregnant with his
precious life, my initial feeling was that he is a boy. As the first trimester
progressed, I noticed a very similar pregnancy to that of Kylie’s, so as we
took our final guesses in the ultrasound room at 14 weeks, both of our final
guesses were “girl.”
We continue to receive ultrasounds every 4 weeks, and at
just over 30 weeks here, we begin weekly fetal monitoring. This just means we
get to see our sweet boy quite often, ensuring his growth continues as expected.
He is due the day after Thanksgiving, November 25, 2016.
Worry… this is something we try incredibly hard not to do.
As pregnancy progresses, God continues to slowly lift the worry away. Our sweet
boy continues to show us that he is completely healthy. In quiet moments, even
in early pregnancy, when I am able to gather myself enough to draw incredibly
near to our Father, His Holy Spirit has washed a complete sense of peace over
me… He whispers to me to trust in Him and to release control because truly I
have no control over this life. I feel His warm, gentle smile upon me when He
can see that I have truly accepted the release of this control, and goodness,
what a relief I feel when I truly accept that He’s got this… every little piece
of this life.
Our sweet baby boy at just 6 weeks, 6 days
14 weeks
20 weeks
25 weeks
This past week, just shy of 29 weeks
29 weeks - We are so thankful to have entered the 3rd trimester last week.
