Byer Family: Safe Families for Children

After a beautiful, joyous, sometimes hard, season of growing for us, Little L leaves us today after 5 months spent in our home. Oh my, how God has worked in those 5 months. It is not “goodbye” for us as she will continue to stay with us for shorter periods of time, but her permanent stay with us is coming to an end.

Little L joined us in our household on November 13, 2015 and turned our world upside down. Little L joined us through a Christian organization called Safe Families for Children. A couple of months before Little L’s arrival, Patrick and I began talking about taking a longer-term placement with SFFC. Up to that point, we had been “weekenders,” taking kids into our home on weekends, on average about once a month. As we grieved the loss of our sweet daughter, God began to open our hearts and minds to doing something in our time of waiting on another pregnancy. We began to talk about this idea of taking a longer-term assignment with SF. A couple of months went by, and then we received “the email.” We get the “Urgent Needs” email from Safe Families in our inbox multiple times a week. It lists the types needs in our community (the metro). That Wednesday or Thursday evening, I read the Urgent Needs email and showed it to Patrick while sitting on the couch. This was it. It was clear to me. The situation was what we had been talking about and praying about. This was what God had called us to do. It couldn’t be any more clear to us. It was hard to take the leap… we asked ourselves, “What about daycare? How will we do drop-off/pick-up and our commute? How long with this placement last?” We took the dive and responded that we were interested in the need. On Saturday, we picked up Little L and her younger sister. We took both of them for the weekend until the other host family was able to begin placement on Monday. Wow, you could say they rocked our world. To give you a tiny glimpse, Patrick and I put together a baby swing at 2am that Saturday night while a baby screamed in my arms… and when I say “we,” I mean Patrick. Goodness, that man has the patience of a saint. We could only have navigated this journey together.

We quickly moved to a routine that involved a 22-month old. We secured daycare before we even took Little L into care. We look back on those early weeks, and they were HARD. Little L didn’t know us, our routines, or our house. She had never been to daycare and was sick for about a month straight. We set the boundaries of our household, and we all had a steep learning curve to climb. But, those weeks were also so good. She learned to trust us and love us. She learned that we always come back at the end of the day. She learned to love her time with other children, and boy, was her time in a structured daycare so good for her. We drop her off now, with a kiss and a hug. She runs to spend time with her teachers and classmates.

God gave us such a gift in the time we’ve spent with Little L. I thought I would be a mother last August, but God had different plans for us. In a time of waiting and grieving, He gave us a sweet girl to love on. He gave us a sweet girl to love us and to show us a tiny piece of His greater plan for our life. We have learned so much about God’s grace and patience. A year ago, I would never have thought we’d be where we are right now, but as a song I love states, “I am called to be where I am right now.” And, over this past year, God has called us more than ever, as the final chapter of 1 Thessalonians states, "encourage one another and build each other up... Live in peace with each other... encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone... always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

One unexpected blessing has been the relationship I have developed with the other host mom. Little L’s younger sister has been living in the north metro with another family since Little L has been in our care. The other host mom is what I would call a “baby whisperer” and is so wise. Her family has served with Safe Families for some time, and their faith is humbling. She continually reminds me to be more Christ-like even when things are difficult with the girls. She lays down her busy family’s desires to serve this family in crisis. I would like to be more like this sweet woman in her sacrifice and love for others.

God is so good. These past five months is a small window in our life, but we hope to continually play a role in Little L’s life. We pray that God guides her and her family.

Safe Families for Children website: www.safefamiliesmn.org