Self Doubt

I would consider myself a fairly confident person. I enjoy a good conversation (okay, if you know me, you know I love to talk); I am comfortable with the fact that I most often wear no make-up and workout clothes (gotta be ready for a workout whenever I get the chance, right? – or is it that leggings are just so darn comfortable…); I embrace my out-going, loud, blunt personality.

But, there are times that:

I begin to doubt myself, doubt my abilities, feel insecure about what I know God has called me to – motherhood; friendships; walking with women experiencing pregnancy loss, infant loss, or infertility; hosting kids in our home and being involved with the ministry we care so deeply for.

“It’s too much. Look at you trying to contain 3 small children in public. They’re too loud. Even at church – they run too crazy, they’re too wild. Why aren’t you keeping them quiet?”

“I said the wrong things. Did I talk too much? Did I say too little? Did I offend someone? Should I have asked for an update from that woman? What if she didn’t want to share? Did my prayers capture everyone’s requests, circumstances, and needs?”

STOP.

What is my heart attitude? Are my intentions pure? Do I desire to advance the kingdom of God? Do I rest in our good and gracious God? Am I responding to a calling I feel he’s placed on my heart? Am I trying to be obedient? Who am I glorifying? – God or myself? If I know the answers to these questions point to Him, then… BREATHE. Let go of the worries and anxieties. Sure, I will make mistakes, but if my heart attitude is right, I know that I’m being obedient to Christ. I am human. I’m not perfect. I will make mistakes. I may offend someone. I may not handle a situation in the best manner. But, there’s grace for that.

I know I’m not the only one who wrestles with self-doubt. I have a feeling that many of us (ehem – women) do. Lately, God has reminded me to examine what I like to call my “heart attitude.” If I know, deep within, that my intentions are pure and come from a place of love (God’s love), then I’ve been able to let go of the doubt that has crept in. I’ve been able to regain my confidence, knowing that my actions are God-honoring.

You are chosen – God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9

Momming these two precious miracles