My type-A tendencies are visible in how I manage my emails, texts, and socials. You will rarely find unopened messages. Emails are filed in the proper folders at all times. I get annoyed when I have more than 10 emails in my inbox. I delete junk texts because they clog up my mental capacity (and those of you who text me likely know there are many that need responses...). But, there is one email that sits in the drafts folder. It's dated January 6, 2015, and I vividly remember sitting in the seat or two just behind the driver on my commute into work. I finished writing it at 7:51am, and I am a completely different person than the young woman who wrote this message.
Hello Baby,
Gosh, I am 8 weeks pregnant, and I've been meaning to write to you for a few weeks now. Daddy and I have been praying for you, and to be completely honest, you came around quite quickly! I am overjoyed and so excited to be your mommy. I don't think it's quite sunk in yet that you'll be in my arms sometime in mid August. Did you know your due date is my birthday?! What a fabulous birthday present you'll be! I do hope you come on a different day though so that you won't have to share your day :) I love you so much already, and the only proof I have that you exist is the stick that said "pregnant." Well, I'm also tired all the time! But, you don't make me feel too nauseous, and for that I am so grateful. There are so many things I want to say to you, wishes I have for you, prayers I pray for you. My biggest prayer is that you are healthy and that you come into this world immediately knowing God's love and mommy and daddy's love.
Reflecting on these words makes me a little bit teary, but I also know what a blessing Kylie has been to us and to others, how she has changed us, and I know how important her beautiful short life was and continues to be.
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